The Amityville Horror
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George
Directed By: Andrew Douglas
Rated: R
Opens: Friday April 15th

Folks like to laugh at The Amityville Horror. The original 1979 Stuart 
Rosenberg version is a great Halloween party movie. You get together with 
friends and laugh as George Lutz goes slowly insane, you laugh at Jodie the 
little ghost who turns out to be a pig monster, and you laugh as George chops
enough wood to deforest most of Bolivia. There's really something about this 
story and chopping wood, not so much a theme, but a sickness. Sure, it's funny 
in a group. But wait until you get home or better yet watch it alone, at home,
in the darkÉ You'll start thinking to yourself "this was based on a true story"
and "that house really exists". Don't feel too ashamed when your feet don't 
hit the floor as you run up to bed... everyone does it. 

The Amityville house is probably the most famous haunted house in The U.S, 
there are four official The Amityville Horror movies prior to this latest 
remake and dozens of Discovery Channel documentaries and made for TV movies.
Yet, I was surprised as to how many people just didn't get this movie, as if
they didn't know the story, many people walked out. A lot of confused looks
and "That was the strangest horror film ever!" -- I can understand their pain 
a little -- this is not a traditional horror film. This latest installment 
does not add to or really complement the 1979 version at all. All it does it
take the original and add some effects (notice the lack of the superlative 
'special' there). Like many recent horror remakes the filmmakers seem to have 
forgotten that the less the audience can see, the more frightening they make
it for themselves. IÕd stand up to a thousand gross, oozing guys with chains
and spikes sticking out of them, but put me in a room with a rocking chair
that starts moving on it's own? I'm gone.

The one shining point in this film is that Ryan 'Van Wilder' Reynolds does a
fantastic job and completely upstages the sweaty lipped performance of James
Brolin as George Lutz. I hadn't really noticed Reynolds prior to this film,
and one look at his resume would tell you why -- The In-Laws, Van Wilder, 
Blade: Trinity -- Reynolds has delivery, wit and presence enough to pull of 
George's slow slide into madness. HeÕs frightening and acerbic and when he
scolds the kids he has the look of a caged animal. That's hard for the 
audience to shy away from.

On the other hand, Melissa George, with a much more impressive resume (The 
Limey, Mulholland Dr. ) is no Margot Kidder as Kathy Lutz. I don't think she
knows what it is to be a victim, her performance just wasn't natural.
 
In addition to the fact that this remake takes quite a bit of creative liberty
with the actual events that happened in the Amityville house in 1975 - it also
lacks imagination, it lacks heart (George does not run in at the end to save 
the family dog), it lacks a fiery pit to hell in the basement, and most 
importantly, it lacks a large pig monster peeking out of the upstairs window.
Rent the original. Watch it at home, alone, in the dark; you'll only regret 
that you didn't earlier... Oh, and that you didn't check the attic before you 
put it in.

Dave can be reached at dkerr@detroitbuzz.com